SOMEWHERE UPSTATE, New York - Local mother Sarah W., mother to Graham, 7 months, has reported her child to have previously undiscovered psychic abilities, prominent especially during the sleeping hours. Sarah confirms that "as soon as [she] even think[s] his name, he wakes up and cries. It's freakish."
Independent corroboration of said abilities comes from Graham's father, Joe, who adds "The boy can read my mind, and is determined to kill me." Both parents suffer from teething-induced sleep deprivation.
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