Keep on truckin'

So, slowly but surely I feel like we are headed towards a routine. Maybe. Graham's baby Zantac has definitely made a difference, so now he's not screaming in the middle of the night. Graham and I have gotten into a good pattern during the day - not that there's much ability for me to do work or really sleep in this pattern (I do a half-way job on both counts), but he's breastfeeding well and is pretty chill. Night is the big hurdle we still have to overcome. I got to the point last night where I honestly questioned how any breastfeeding mom does it. I mean, on one hand, we're told under no circumstances to feed him in bed (because you could fall asleep! and smother the baby!), and certainly under no circumstances to feed him in bed lying down or sleep with him in the bed. But on the other, because of his reflux, he has to be held for 20 minutes upright after eating. And he's turned into a spitty baby as well, so if we don't hold him upright he'll spit when he's asleep, and that makes him really angry and us terrified. So I have to wake up, get up, change his diaper, go downstairs, NOT turn on the TV because he's not supposed to have any stimulation during nighttime feeds, keep myself awake somehow during the 30-60 minutes he decides to eat, burp him, hold him for the 20 minutes (also not falling asleep because THERE ONCE WAS A TEENAGE DAD WHO FELL ASLEEP WITH THE BABY ON THE COUCH AND THE BABY FELL BETWEEN THE CUSHIONS AND DIED, according to one of our nurses), go back upstairs, put him down and re-settle him, come back downstairs to get pumping supplies, go back upstairs and pump off what he didn't eat, put that in the refrigerator, and finally go back to bed. And since he is a normal baby at this point, he'll want to breastfeed every 2-2.5 hours. Which leaves me with about 45 minutes of sleep between rounds. And makes me want to die.

Of course, I have slacked on some aspects of this sometimes. I don't always pump, and yes, I have fallen asleep on the couch a time or two. And Joe to this point has been doing a bottle or two during the night, and we are still crashing and burning. Any suggestions from other past or present breastfeeding moms are entirely welcome, and indeed solicited. Now I must go see if I can sleep.